Dear Blog...

So, I was meaning to write about my day and stuff, like you would do in a diary, but then I went: fuck it... This is going to get all crazy and uninteresting again.

Where was I? Ah, yes, crazy and uninteresting.

Ok, I can't even get the inspiration to write a few uninteresting sentences and end the whole post-thing with my usual awkwardness?! What the hell is happening to me? You see, this is the reason why my blog is updated once every 5 months. That, and the lack of people with the courage to read it.

Soooo... I guess I'll see you in a few months.

I use 'so' too often...

Oh, and, I got a twitter-widget for the blog, so you can see my tweets...
Yes, my only goal in life is to torture you! *evil laugh*

Inquisitive Me With Awkwardness

Ah, and the rantings continue...

What pushed me into it again? Inevitability of life? The sweet smell of spring in the air? A racoon that ran into my room and gave me "the writing rabies"?
-How the hell would I know? I just felt like it, so quit asking me questions, Inquisitive Me...

So, what am I going to write about this time? Well, I think I am going to write about the strange feelings I've been having for the last couple of days... Don't get me wrong, I get all sorts of strange feelings every day, but these were strange strange feelings. I know what you are thinking, you perverted bastards, and I can tell you, it is not a craving for Japanese fetish porn! Had enough of that, honestly.

You know that saying: "Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on me. Trick me three times and I'll shoot your granny in a public restroom"? Well, something like that... I had a situation where a person, we will call her Person Manipulative Bitch Whom I Cared About And Now I Just Feel Pretty Empty Because She Tried To Screw With My Head, tricked me quite a few times in the last few months... and made me remember some old issues I was trying to forget...
Um, where was I going with this? -I have no idea, Inquisitive Me... I TOLD YOU TO STOP BOTHERING ME!
So, feeling of emptiness is a good point as any... I feel empty... I feel like someone dragged out something from my chest and stuck it in a little jar labeled "stuff from his chest", and now I have trouble feeling normal stuff and I just feel this vast hole inside me... I think it's a feeling of disappointment... or it's apathy... or whatever... My point is, I'm still sad and desperate, bla, bla, bla...
If you read my previous posts, you know I rarely have a point... So if you are reading this to get one, you have some serious problems... Well, not as serious as mine, but still...

I think I should let this post fade away in awkwardness...

*awkwardness*

Insiginificant

I'm back... Unfortunately, I have nothing better to do... It's midnight, I'm not sleeping, so whats better than putting a bunch of incoherent thoughts on a virtual sheet of paper? (Who said having sex?! Why do you have to torture me?! I ain't getting any, so what?!)

Fellow humans, we have lived to see another day... Still ruled with our petty emotions, still dreaming about girls with big boobs, nice cars, donkeys, shoes, fame and fortune...
Ask yourselves: What am I going to do today? Will it make a difference? Will my little life change anything in this dark and sad world? Sure, some of you may be doctors or firemen or whatever and you save lives on a daily basis, but what about the rest of us? Something we all have to deal with sooner or later is feeling insignificant.

It's a bad feeling, now, isn't it? Just a speck in the space/time continuum... So small... I know... Live with it.

The Start of Unsuccesful blogging.

So I have decided to start a blog of my own (in the absence of a social life of any kind). I still have no idea what I'm going to write about. My first thought was to write about life in general, but let's face it, I don't have any idea about life... So I will write stuff that's on my mind in the given moment, and by Eru, I hope no one reads this.

There is a lot of stuff running through my mind lately, mostly erotic thoughts about hot girls I know and their imaginary twins, but that's not really a topic for a blog like this... Well, maybe at some point I'll give you a peak at my erotic fantasies, and believe me, you won't like it. Now where was I? Ah, yes, random thoughts... An elderly lady with big fuck-off machine gun in the supermarket queue... (See, stuff like that mostly)
Here is a thought: Most people live their lives with a goal of some kind, their own little meaning of life, in the absence of a general meaning(yeah, I'm still working on that, so don't bug me). I have started wondering lately, what my fucking goal is. And I have come to a conclusion I don't have any long-term goals, no big meaning. Yeah, I wanna graduate, find a job and have a decent source of income, but that's not really something you would live your life for, now, is it?
To find love, The One, to have a bunch of kids with her, then work to support your family... That's a good goal, but not for me... I have stopped believing in true love, and I don't really see a point in prolonging human kind, certainly not with my genes.
So what is there to live for? Small pleasures like a cigarette after a meal, sex and the cigarette and a good sleep after, listening to your favorite band, playing your guitar, reading a good book are not worth all the trouble.
Social interaction does not give me any satisfaction at all... In fact it just makes me see how petty life really is...

Perhaps I just have to live a bit more and find a pleasure worth living for. (Now that's a paradox)