So I have decided to start a blog of my own (in the absence of a social life of any kind). I still have no idea what I'm going to write about. My first thought was to write about life in general, but let's face it, I don't have any idea about life... So I will write stuff that's on my mind in the given moment, and by Eru, I hope no one reads this.
There is a lot of stuff running through my mind lately, mostly erotic thoughts about hot girls I know and their imaginary twins, but that's not really a topic for a blog like this... Well, maybe at some point I'll give you a peak at my erotic fantasies, and believe me, you won't like it. Now where was I? Ah, yes, random thoughts... An elderly lady with big fuck-off machine gun in the supermarket queue... (See, stuff like that mostly)
Here is a thought: Most people live their lives with a goal of some kind, their own little meaning of life, in the absence of a general meaning(yeah, I'm still working on that, so don't bug me). I have started wondering lately, what my fucking goal is. And I have come to a conclusion I don't have any long-term goals, no big meaning. Yeah, I wanna graduate, find a job and have a decent source of income, but that's not really something you would live your life for, now, is it?
To find love, The One, to have a bunch of kids with her, then work to support your family... That's a good goal, but not for me... I have stopped believing in true love, and I don't really see a point in prolonging human kind, certainly not with my genes.
So what is there to live for? Small pleasures like a cigarette after a meal, sex and the cigarette and a good sleep after, listening to your favorite band, playing your guitar, reading a good book are not worth all the trouble.
Social interaction does not give me any satisfaction at all... In fact it just makes me see how petty life really is...
Perhaps I just have to live a bit more and find a pleasure worth living for. (Now that's a paradox)
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